Christmas shopping used to unhinge me. I’d go from store to store wracking my brain for innovative and unique gifts for my loved ones. I’d wait in never-ending line-ups inevitably getting arrested for screaming obscenities impatient and huffy. Then, after lugging my treasures home, I’d second-guess every last one of ‘em. Disgusted, I would set them all on fire aside until I could think straight. Grrrr. It was so frustrating!! I just wasn’t feeling the Christmas joy everyone blathered on about.
One evening, after hours of watching Netflix meditating by a roaring fire, I unearthed the source of my anger: There was nothing in it for me! Since changing my attitude and putting the “I” back in Christmas, my mood has spiked exponentially. You heard me. Buying myself awesome prezzies will surely have a ripple effect on my family’s well-being. It’s for the greater good, Miss Judgey Captain Samaritan!
Let’s start with this gorgeous, embossed pottery mug I bought at a holiday craft show last weekend. Check it:
Um. It’s more than just a pretty mug, FYI. It has the potential to save Christmas. Look: Here’s me drinking from a plain, chipped mug last Christmas. Do I look happy to you??
Yes it IS chipped. You just can’t see it! Never mind…
Now…here’s how I think I’ll look sipping a perfectly- foamed latte from from my new, unchipped mug this year:
Now you’re talkin’!
The spin-offs will be endless: If I’m happy, I’ll be inclined to make a lovely Christmas breakfast, a fabulous turkey dinner and even overlook the credit card bill mountains of torn, discarded wrapping paper that’s invisible to everyone but me. Happy me = oblivious happy family. Duh. It’s not rocket science, you guys.
I just love these leather bracelets I snagged at aforementioned craft show!
I figured I’d save my husband the trouble of buying the ‘wrong’ kind, which could lead to icy tension on Christmas morning (You’re welcome, honey!). I hope there’s no tension when he finds out I bought a Harley so I’d have some place to wear the ‘biker chick’ bracelets. Stay tuned (insert nervous laughter)! Sometimes I get so caught up in the spirit of giving that I lose my house head.
Enough about me! Back to my family: Do you think for one minute they enjoy seeing me with puffy, dull eyes on Christmas morning? Hardly… so for their viewing pleasure, I purchased this purple eye liner with just a touch of glitter.
It brings out the golden specks in my pupils and my boys go nuts for that. Look closely and you’ll see the specks:
After they say stuff like: “Where’s the presents?” “Mom, your eyes are so pretty this morning!” I’ll be in a better mood. See bit about breakfast, turkey dinner and discarded wrapping paper above. Follow me so far?
Sigh. I feel sick that my family has to see me every Christmas morning in the same friggin’ birthday suit flannel pjs. I know they feel sorry for me and wish I would treat myself so I selflessly did! Ta da!!
It screams Feliz Navidad right? Gosh, I hope it’s not too red and shiny- I don’t want to hog all the attention. See? There I go second-guessing again. ARGH.
This wine is super delish so I picked up a case bottle for a little treat.
Picture this: Me sipping wine, while sporting this new gorgeous/glam black top (Like it?? I bought it yesterday…) on Christmas Eve. Swoon.
Everyone knows I’m a blast from Christmas past when I look like a rock star and I’ve had a few too many glasses. I tell hilarious jokes. I dance even if there’s no music. I dredge up the ugly past festive appetizers from the deep freeze. It’s a win/win and all because I bought myself a little somethin’ somethin’. Jealous yet?
Listen, I realize this is unorthodox but don’t forget: This is for my family. I repeat: This is for myself family. I shudder when I think about the puffy-eyed, bracelet-less, chipped-mug Christmases of past and how my family suffered because of it. Poor them. This Christmas is going to be different though! I can feel it. What could go wrong? Ahhh crap! I just remembered something super important that might affect Christmas morning afterall: I forgot to buy gifts for my family my special eggnog coffee! I hope there’s still time…