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The Sunshine Award

 

Thanks(ish) to fellow blogger, Dan Alatorre, for nominating me for the very fake lovely Sunshine Award! I honestly don’t know what it is but if I had to guess, I’d say I got nominated because I’m sizzlin’ hot like the sun. Makes sense. Dan has been kind enough to promote me and he’s given me some solid advice to help me get myself out there, like suggesting I actually write stuff now and again. Tough crowd! Chill, Dan. Speaking of writing, check out his blog: http://danalatorre.com. He helps lazy writers and he has lots of published books. Blah. Blah. Blah. I’m not jealous. You are.

Anyhoo, to show him I’m not the lazy sloth he thinks I am, I’m responding to this nomination by answering the questions he gave me. To make me suffer pay it forward, apparently I then have to nominate 11 bloggers (scroll, people) and ask them my own questions. Those bloggers must:

  • Thank me with cash on their blog
  • Nominate 11 bloggers
  • Give them 11 questions to answer

 

The idea is to get on Ellen more blog followers and to promote fellow bloggers at the same time. Sounds hard like fun! Here are my answers to the questions Dan gave me:

 

  • Where is the strangest place you even made whoopee?

Well, that’s a VERY PERSONAL QUESTION, but I’m nothing if not honest (laughs nervously). I haven’t shared this with many people but…I once made whoopee pies in my friend’s kitchen back in- oh let me think- Grade 5 I think.  They were delicious; I ate 3 in a row and literally almost threw up! You heard me. I love whoopee PIES and to this day I make them whenever I feel the need for some excitement. Bam.

  • Share a blog post you wrote that meant a lot to you and tell us why you picked that one.

Mojitos 4 Sale: Limit: 5(ish) Per Customer was a turning point for me; it involved props, one of my sons as photographer, and a complete loss of my dignity. As I hauled out the table, chair, and glass pitcher and watched my husband shake his head in disbelief, and neighbours call the cops slow down to investigate, I knew then and there I would do bloody anything for my craft…and that I had no pride. See for yourself: https://onehotflashinmama.wordpress.com/2015/08/02/mojitos-4-sale-limit-5-ish-per-customer/

  • Kiss a stranger OR eat a Scotch egg? (And you can’t look up Scotch eggs before answering!)

Are you spying on me or what?? I just did those very two things this morning. My husband wasn’t pleased that I kissed a stranger ate his last Scotch egg but a girl’s gotta live, am I right?

  • Rob a WalMart or wear a bikini at the beach?

Duh. Wear a bikini to WalMart. Always. Wait…what was the question?

  • What is your deepest fear about your writing?

That once Ellen Degeneres reads it, she’ll be insecure about her own writing/life. I’d feel good bad about that and it’s the main reason I am not more ambitious about it. I’m just gonna let her shine. I’m a giver that way.

  • What is your best book?

I loved The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt- It was so beautifully written it almost felt like she was just showing off: Oooh…look how I can string those words together to create literary beauty, win awards and get rich. Give it a rest, Miss Perfect Hemingway.

  • Do you get manicures, and if so, when was your last one and what did it cost?

This is a touchy subject. The last manicure I received was from a 3-year old. #nightmare. It was free but I paid a price. Sigh. I didn’t want to talk about it but you asked. So I go to my cousin’s house and his daughter, who is adorable beyond measure, says she can paint my nails and I quote: “Make them pwetty”. I believed her. After the 9th coat of glittery silver polish I knew things weren’t going to get better. She made a mess of my hands and for weeks I walked around with silver, glittery nails and knuckles. Obviously I’m suing for false advertising. She can’t hide behind that ridiculous cuteness her whole life. Right? Answer me.

  • Jacuzzi or dry sauna?

Dry jacuzzi, obviously… although sometimes I wonder when I’m in there what the heck the point of it is! What do others do? Inbox me.

Who is your favorite author ever and who is your favorite that you’ve read this year? (This year’s doesn’t have to be published)

Because I have only one brain cell left at the end of the day, I’m focusing my limited energy on funny books. Mindy Kaling is my new obsession. Her latest book, Why Not Me?  is hilarious. However, just because she has written books and created, and stars in a sitcom and goes to big-ass Hollywood events, doesn’t mean she’s better than I am. Right?? Answer me.

What author or blogger would you like to sit down and have drinks with?

Funny you should ask! I just finished a bottle of gin and tonic all alone, and I chatted non-stop. Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Should I start a new blog post today?

Me: Meh. Maybe tomorrow.

Me: Ok. Want a latte?

Me: Yes!!

Beyond talking to and drinking by myself, I’d love a chat with Dan Alatorre- the nice blogger/author from Florida who kindly nominated me for this fake award. Maybe if I asked him nicely enough, he would use his connections to get me on the Ellen show. Cough. Cough.

  • If you have one piece of career advice to share with the readers here, what would it be?

 I hate to be coy but I can’t really give away all my secrets. However…I am offering a workshop called Not Livin’ the Dream: Follow Your Sugar Daddy Heart. Inbox me for details. Everyone welcome. Not reasonably priced.

 

So there you have it! I feel naked after revealing those deep secrets to my dear followers but if it means I’ll have fame and fortune more blog followers and promote fellow bloggers, so be it! Besides, I bet you’ve made whoopie pies in Grade 5 too so judge someone who gives a crap!

 

Hop to it nominees! This exercise only took me 48 days. I challenge you to complete it in fewer than 45 days. Here are the lucky(ish) nominees. There is no obligation but if you don’t participate, I will start a trend on Twitter with the hashtag Be that way. #bethatway

 

 

Aaaaand here are my 11 titillating questions:

  1. What was your worst vacation? Don’t leave anything out.
  2. What was your best vacation? Do leave things out.
  3. Who is your favourite writer? Don’t be shy. You must can say it’s me.
  4. What’s your favourite book?
  5. What’s your best piece of writing advice?
  6. Do you write best in the morning or later in the day? Describe your writing routine.
  7. What would you do with a million dollars (after giving me a small cut? ‘Small cut’ means ten grand, FYI)
  8. Share your favourite blog post and tell us why you chose it.
  9. Have you scratched anything off your Bucket List lately? Heck, do you even have one?
  10. If you could meet one famous person, who would it be and why?
  11. Can you get me on the Ellen show?

 

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18 thoughts on “The Sunshine Award

  1. Hilarious. Please keep me on yur list. Don’t know how to blog #don’t care . Can;t figure out how to use all those fancy things to strike faux pas out #don;t care again…that ‘s all this non Techie gotta say. You could be the Carleton County Moonshine Girl# Might get ya on the moonshiners show. Look good in coveralls? I bet ya look real good after a quart of that there Carleton County holy water. Thanks for the laughs, Gurrld

  2. Yay! Your blog is back. Very clever responses to some tricky questions…will you give a shout out to all the little people (me) when Ellen calls? Thanks and please consider this my online registration for the workshop. #whatdream

  3. Known Colleen since she was a little girl. Very clever with the pen and just published in the Irish Times Christmas Review. Sunshine award should be for a sunshine girl.

  4. This is the kind of stuff that’ll get you on Ellen’s show. I’d say it was worth the 48 day wait but I don’t want to encourage you to be a sloth. Great stuff. Keep up the good work. I LOVED reading this and now have absolutely no guilt for asking you to do it. Okay, a little. But it’s way down.

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